The Proposal

One year ago today I was on a Continental flight from Charlotte, North Carolina, back home to Cleveland. I sat with my journal opened on my lap, looking at the words on the very last page: Why didn't he ask me???

I had spent the entire weekend in Charlotte, and had the opportunity to meet Daniel's pastor and his wife, the rest of those who are now our church family, have dinner with an elder and his family, and go to a special wedding-- the wedding of one of our own groomsman. We had a romantic afternoon and evening in Greenville, South Carolina, strolling through the artsy shops, eating ice cream at Coffee Underground and relaxing near the water at Reedy Falls. The weekend was one to remember. Every day was perfect, every moment, even. We were so happy together, and I was so happy to be there in Charlotte with him. I told him, "This really feels like it could be home."

He dropped several hints that weekend. He did several things that made me more than curious. When his best friend Joe called unexpectedly Friday afternoon and yelled (loud enough for me to hear), "Dude!! Are you E-N-G yet?!?!" I tried to pretend I didn't hear. As we were walking leisurely around Greenville, Daniel kept glancing at his watch, as if we had some place to go. When I questioned him about it, he mentioned something about the sunset. Then, when we found a quiet, romantic place right on the river's edge to sit and talk together, he took a quiet moment to reach in his back pocket, as if to pull something out. I gave him a look, and he laughed and said it was just an itch. By the time we left and he had still not popped the question, I had given up, on being asked and figured in my mind he had something else planned-- after all, he had initially said we wouldn't get engaged until winter. But then he surprised me by pulling off on the side of the highway, and looking at me with his cute, "Guess what I'm doing now" smile that he has. We were right on the border-- in two places at once.

But still... no question.

Our goodbye that next morning at the airport was nothing special. In fact, he almost made me cry the way he seemed to just want to get out of there. I demanded a hug, another kiss, another hug, and he finally just told me to go. 

Things were happening when I got home. My mother and sister were busy planning for something. But I didn't really care. I had too much to catch up on to be too concerned with their confusing excuses.

Around four o'clock Mom tried kicking me off the computer by asking me to go get the mail. I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend (hi Emily!!), checking email, Facebook and the like, and as much as I love to get the mail, felt that it was not all that important. Ten minutes later Mom asked again, and said there was a rain coming-- I should go now. So I did.

But I took my phone, and dialed a friend's number (hi Michelle!!). I was meandering down our driveway, just about the leave a message when Daniel popped out from behind the row of trees. I screamed, jumped, then screamed and laughed. "What are you doing here!?" He couldn't hide the smile on his face. I knew, but it was all so surreal I couldn't fathom it.

He pulled me to him, and we stood in the middle of the grassy field at the front of my family's property. He made some sort of joke, of course, because he's Daniel Wells, and no story of his would be complete without one. Then, he got very sweet and sincere, and with perfectly natural language told me he loved me, adored me and wanted me to be the one by his side for the rest of his life. "Ashlee, will you be my bride?" He asked as he knelt on one knee, and pulled a single solitaire diamond from his pocket.

The word was out of mouth almost before he could finish asking, and he hugged me and spun me in a circle, and kissed my lips so sweetly. It was like a first kiss all over again. 

Then he held me tight and started to sing quietly the song we danced to on our wedding day-- the song that he heard way back in September of 2007, right after he promised his dying grandmother he would marry a woman she would love. 

It was at that moment that the first raindrop fell on my face. I looked up at him and smiled. Then we both looked up at the sky, and it started to pour.

Within minutes we were drenched, and enjoyed every second of it. We danced and kissed some more, and laughed at the wonderfulness of the whole experience.

His mom came for dinner, and we celebrated all evening. We finished the day off by star gazing on the back porch late into the evening, but even when I finally fell asleep I wished the day would never end. Even in the dark my diamond sparkled. It was perfect.

Our Story - Part XIII

This was meant to be posted before the wedding, but naturally, I got a little distracted. The trouble is... I don't really know when to end this Our Story thing. Because just when I think it's ended a whole new story begins. What follows is the ending of our lives as single individuals and the beginning of our life as a couple. There are still a few more parts of "our story" I want to put on here (like the surprise Valentine's Day visit where he thought I was going to break up with him, or the proposal story), so I cannot say "the end," but even after all of those are told the story will still continue.... it's forever, ever after, right??
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

While she expected him Friday and planned her week and wardrobe accordingly, Daniel hardly expected to arrive when he intended to. Surprises were her favorite, he knew; and he loved giving them. So after a brief Thanksgiving dinner with his Uncle Richard and family in Enon he drove two hours North-East to Medina.

Angela played the Secret Agent in this mission, so when Daniel was within seconds of the house, she stepped into action, with Mom, of course, acting in part as well.
The dog has to be fed NOW.
There went Angela scurrying outside to feed the dog, asking for help.
All of a sudden feeding the dog seemed vital to her life, and Ashlee was rather confused. What would it hurt if she waited 5 minutes? She was scared into action when her Mom screamed, “ASHLEE!” And told her to quickly go out and help her sister, Lucy had gotten loose.
So, out she trudged in her Dad’s Carhart jacket and her little brother’s Crocs to the kennel, where she saw Lucy happily wagging her tail. Angela had disappeared. A little confused, she ran back inside (it was cold, and her feet were getting wet through the Crocs from the snow), only to nearly collide with her mother in the doorway. They looked at each other blankly, then Ashlee said, “Lucy’s fine.” Her mother stammered for words, and then Angela appeared on the staircase with a bowl of dog food (since when is the dog food upstairs??) “Could you just give this to her, please?”

Rather confused, and a little frustrated, and quite nervous, she headed back outside, gave the happy dog her dinner, and was just about to go back in, when she saw the inevitable headlights at the bottom of the driveway. She looked down at herself and laughed—the $80 black dress she had splurged on to wear for him Friday was hanging untouched in her closet, and instead of her feet being clad in her adorable new boots, she laughed at her white socks showing through the holes in the Crocs.

It was slightly uncomfortable then, waiting for him to get up the driveway. Watching, but not wanting to look. Knowing that though the headlights blinded his face from her, they illumined hers for him. When his car finally stopped and he opened his car door, she ran out to meet him, and hugged him hello. He searched her eyes for her answer, and she wanted to tell him “yes” right then, but try as she may the word would not come to her lips. Then, when it was finally there, ready to roll out, he was talking, and then there they went, walking side-by-side through the snow. Crocs and all.

They walked across the back yard, with the bright winter moon glowing above them. Daniel talked. Neither remember what about. All she could think of was getting him to stop talking so she could tell him what they both wanted to hear. Finally he did. Turning to face her he said, “One question I have for you, though. What will my relationship status [on Facebook] be when I get back to Charlotte on Monday?” She groaned at the obvious reference to the 21st century, but laughed anyway. Then with simple, sweet words she told him her answer was yes.

She will never forget the look on his face at that moment—even if he knew what she was going to say, it was priceless. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and for the first time understood, though only in part, what it was to have her be his. He said what sprang into his heart first, “Thank you. Thank you!”

Then they noticed the faces smeared against the glass of the family room window, watching them with keen interest, and laughed. He took her around to the front of the house, where he “found” a white rose lying in the snow (Agent Angela’s services had been employed). And again, as she hugged him, they noticed the faces pressed against the front windows. She laughed and buried her head in his shoulder. “Welcome to my family.”

                                                                        ... to be continued...

Our Story - Part XII

Daniel double majored in philosophy and religion, so naturally, during the four months of their friendship, Ashlee learned more names of old, dead guys than she ever thought existed, and more about eschatological theories than she really cared to know. One of the men that did spark her interest, however, was Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher in the mid 1800s. His belief that it took a “leap of faith” to know God became a common theme in their conversations. So, with Kierkegaard in mind, Daniel closed his letter,

“Will you take this leap? If you do I will be here to catch you.”

It was certainly to be a leap, yet very steadily over the course of the days between the time the letter arrived and his planned visit, God was working in her heart. Each day the conviction grew more and more sure, but the decision certainly didn’t come without struggles.

In his letter, Daniel suggested that the turmoil she would face in making this decision would not be primarily external, but internal; the most difficult object to overcome would be her own heart and emotions. As the days passed she realized more and more how right he was.

The thought that with the beginning of a courtship marriage could be within two years’ time, made her anxious. She wasn’t sure she was ready to be someone’s wife; she wasn’t sure she was ready to leave her childhood behind. One of the most difficult things to consider was her younger siblings. Her heart literally ached when she thought of not being home to see them grow and mature. But would she deny this man the desires of his heart (and perhaps the desires of her own heart) to stay home and love children who already had a mother and father. Would she be denying herself the blessings God could have planned for her through a family of her own, if she refused Daniel only on account of her little sisters and brothers? Maybe she should just tell him, “Not yet.”

Angela, always one to be completely honest told her flat out, “It’s selfish of you to say, ‘no, not yet’ just because you’re uncomfortable with the fact that you may leave home eventually. If everything else is telling you yes, then you shouldn’t torment him with waiting.”

And sometimes, many times a day, her heart did leaps and bounds across a cloud-dotted sky of dreams. Wonderings, ponderings, dreamings of a beautiful, glorious future. There have not been two weeks in her life that were more prayer-filled, or more quietly spent that these. Her mother was especially gracious in allowing her that extra time alone. She read (Ferguson’s Discovering God’s Will) and prayed and journaled, a lot, a lot, a lot. During those two and a half weeks she wrote over 11,000 words in her journal—27 8 ½ by 11 pages. All on one topic. All about one man.

When the count down hit one week remaining, and she was still certain she would say ‘yes’ despite some lingering hesitations, she signed online and smiled to see he was on. The day was rather melancholy for more reasons than one, and she was wishing for the space between then and Thanksgiving to evaporate so she could tell him her answer and be happy, encircled in his arms. She set her status to an old hymn, and he followed suit. She quickly realized a hymn battle had begun—who could pick the best hymn? They went back and forth for some time, with his hymns always speaking truth right to her heart. That was something she missed about him, and longed for again—to hear truth spoken to her in a way that she knew no other person was able to do. Impulsively she set her status, “I miss you.”

Daniel inwardly did a triumphant dance and replied, “B-) ----------<@” (it’s a digital rose, twist your head). But then she felt nervous, changed her status to a line from Amazing Grace and signed off.

A few days later, while working, she put up a new song that she had heard from Disney’s Anastasia.
 “We were strangers starting out of a journey, never dreaming what we’d have to go through. Now here we are, and I’m suddenly standing at the beginning with you.”
She meant it, but his eyes were never supposed to see it. They did though, and he called his best friend to have him google it for him. They were singing happy tunes all that day, “Dan, man, Dan! You’ve got her. You’ve got her man!” his friend told him.

His spirits were certainly heightened, so he wrote her a second letter, and had another friend send her a special song to woo her some more. These things only made her happier. She felt like a silly school girl waiting for summer vacation.

                                                                    ...to be continued...

Our Story - Part X

One of the most gracious parts of the beautiful letter came near the end, where he frankly told her he required no immediate response. Though a trip over Thanksgiving weekend had been long-planned, he made clear she should feel no pressure to make a decision before, or even after, that day. If she did, and her answer were yes, he would rejoice; but if she felt uncertain yet, he would considered it a joy to wait for the opportunity to gain her heart. He would gladly wait for her response, and encouraged her to use all the time she deemed necessary to seek the Lord in this decision. And if she said no, which he acknowledged an obvious possibility, he promised her to do his best to still treasure her appropriately as a friend and not let her negative answer ruin their time together over the holiday.

But the first part she understood of what God was showing her through this whole experience was that she was not to say "no". The conviction first crept in as a inkling of a feeling, as soon as she read the letter a second time, and planted itself more firmly that evening as she discussed the letter’s contents with her dad. She may very well say, “not yet,” and perhaps she would say, “yes,” but she would not say, "no."

She would continue to seek for her answer, and so began studying the letter, to gain as much of the writer’s character and heart as she possibly could. She sent it to two of her closest friends. Of course she spoke excessively with her sister and mother. She told the oldest of her brothers. She wrote her pastor and his wife.

The responses she received were helpful. Everyone expressed excitement, a few expressed concern, “Do you even like him!?”
She sighed when she heard that response (and she heard it more than once). She didn’t really know. There certainly weren’t fireworks going off. She would never think of her emotions in terms of romantic love. Yet somehow she knew she cared much more deeply for this man than any other person before him, and some days, most days, she thought she could never care for anyone else the same way she did for him.
“Maybe the fireworks will go off later,” Her mom suggested. “Maybe that’s just a cultural thing anyway. Real love isn’t mushy-gushy falling head-over-heels infatuation anyway.”

But feelings had to be involved. She could not say, “Yes, I’ll be happy to court you,” simply because it made sense. So she turned to her journals to reflect on the last 4 months, and consider if her heart was truly drawn to him.

She was shocked at what she found. Sometimes she could have sworn another person had come in after her and added pages and thoughts that were not her own. She was embarrassed by her oblivion when she read over what she had written. How in the world did this man take her by surprise? For four months she had been writing about his obvious affection, and her growing attraction to him!

Even before she boarded the plane for his hometown she wrote, “Though it shocks me to even write it, I feel You are calling me to something more with Daniel Wells. God, What are you trying to teach me in all of this?”

And then again, “I daily am feeling more and more called to a courtship with Daniel Wells.” A real shocker came just after leaving Florida, after leaving him behind with a determination that he should remain only a friend! “I daily think about how wonderful my life would be, could he be my spiritual head, my love, my friend for the rest of my life.”

Though outwardly she expressed ignorance to his subjective feelings, and denied adamantly to all but a select few any interest in the young man, her inward thoughts showed her feelings much more truthfully. There was great conflict. Great uneasiness. Just after having had dinner with her parents she wrote, “I will not be presumptuous, but now, as I look back over the last three and a half months God’s plan seems to make sense to me.”

Before Thanksgiving came she knew what God was leading her to say. And for better or worse she knew the next couple months, Lord Willing, even longer, would be blessed.

                                                                      ... to be continued...

Our Story - Part IX

So he began writing, and thoughtfully penned his to her his desire. He wanted to included everything that was important, did not want to be overly flattering, yet still wished to express his whole heart.


When that letter arrived, November 12th, 2008, it was placed almost immediately in Ashlee’s hand. Her stomach twisted into a knot, and before opening it she took a long, deep breath. Somewhere inside of her heart she knew what it was going to say.
The world around her faded away as her eyes focused on the pages before her. She was nervous, excited, uncertain, anxious, confused—and just wanted to cry and scream and laugh all at the same time. She hardly knew what to think, so she didn’t.

The letter had been handed to her on her way to work. Her mother and sister were dropping her off on this particular day, so she was able to read it in quiet, before beginning her work day. That simple fact turned out to be a heaven-send. All she was able to say when they arrived at work was that Daniel Wells wanted to start a courtship with her. She didn't know if she should smile or laugh or look serious. Her expression as she told them was a mix of all three. Both Mom and Angela smiled, and Ashlee thought there seemed to be very little surprise in their countenances.

She pretended to go right into work, but as soon as their family suburban was out of the driveway she ran into the woods, and walked along the trails, sighing, and praying—just pouring out her heart to the Lord. She then read the letter again, and upon finishing it laughed with joy. She did not know what answer she would give him, but she was filled with the joy of the Lord, knowing that whatever happened, God would lead her.

                                                                       .... to be continued....

Our Story - Part VIII

Before the girls were home from their week-long southern adventure a letter addressed to Lance Willeke was on its way to Medina, Ohio. As clearly, and respectfully as he could, Daniel had penned to Ashlee’s father his admiration for the eldest Willeke daughter. He briefly described the character qualities that he found most impressive. Without apology he admitted a keener interest in her than he had ever experienced for any woman before in his life, and assured him that over the course of the last four months (for his emotions had been sparked during their first conversation, and only had grown and strengthened through their friendship) he had tested the validity of those emotions through prayer and thoughtful consideration. With dignity he requested permission to begin a courtship, in the time Mr. Willeke thought best.

The letter was meant to be a secret, even its envelope was to be unseen, by her eyes especially. But she saw it. She wondered why a letter that thick could be addressed to her father, but in her mind it was far too soon for anything serious to come of their friendship. Her weekend with him had shown her that nothing would come of it—hadn’t it?? Nevertheless she asked him about it, and he cleverly covered the true contents of the letter with a story about a thank you note, expressing gratitude to her father for allowing her and her sister to visit Florida. It was not a lie… He had thanked him for that—but only in the first paragraph.

So while Daniel waited anxiously to receive a response from her father, she nearly forgot about the letter and its unknown contents, until a little over a week later Mrs. Willeke called her daughter at work and said that she and her father were going to take her to dinner, just her. Though it was unsaid, somehow she knew the purpose was to discuss that letter.

Initially, she was excited, planned her dinner, and smiled as her appetite grew and grew. But when five o’clock rolled around she began to get a little nervous. This anxiety only heightened when her dad came to pick her up and his cell phone rang. The voice on the other end was certainly not her mother’s… it was undoubtedly Daniel Wells. Why was he calling? What on earth could he want to talk to her dad about?

Though the two men had talked more than once on the phone before, the sequence of events was more than a little curious. Suddenly, she wasn’t hungry anymore. She thought she might be sick instead.

She composed herself enough to clear her head and push aside the confusing emotions swelling in her heart. After their dinner had arrived, Mr. Willeke, with some prompting from his wife, asked Ashlee very directly what she thought of Daniel Wells. Naturally she asked, “As what?”

And the whole long list followed, “As a man, as a friend, as Christian, as a potential suitor…” Inwardly she gulped at that last description, and forced another spoonful of soup down her throat to keep herself composed.

So began the explanation. She spoke as truthfully as she could, but had not enough assurance of her own feelings to say anything to her parents. She said she liked him. She enjoyed him. He met her "criteria". Some days she liked him best. Other days she wasn’t so sure. They agreed on the important things. His vision, she said, was unmatched by any young man she had ever known.

By the end of the conversation she didn’t think that she had given any impression to make her parents believe she thought anything extra special about this young man. She had even admitted to her parents that she felt completely unable and inadequate to make any life-changing decisions-- like choosing a suitor-- at that moment.

But as the Willeke ladies drove home in one vehicle, and Mr. Willeke followed in his own, Daniel Wells’s prayers were answered—in a much more expedient way than he had ever anticipated. Mr. Willeke returned the phone call that had come earlier that evening, and gave an excited young man the OK to begin his romantic pursuit. Evidently, her father had heard nothing discouraging over dinner.

           .... to be continued....

Our Story - Part VII

She convinced herself that evening that he was the perfection of what a brother in Christ should be. There was no uneasiness in her heart as they took their seats. They both thoroughly enjoyed the show—which turned out to be a superb adaption of Dorothy’s trip to the land of Oz. Yet, as the hour turned late, and the end of the story, so well-known, was not having as captivating an effect as it might have had, she felt her head, almost like a magnet, wanting to fall upon his shoulder. Surely, he wouldn’t mind? She had herself convinced and unconvinced a dozen times before the show was over. She had at one point even taken a deep breath and almost tilted her head just enough… She stole glances at him, it seemed, every 5 minutes. He didn’t so much as say a single word as soon as the curtains had drawn. He stared straight forward, either totally engrossed in the scene on stage, or his own personal thoughts, or both. Her dress was itching, her neck was sore, her legs were aching—how could he sit sooo still? but something bordering on conviction held her upright, and deep down she knew it was not fair, not even appropriate.

Following the show they strolled along the docks at the Bay, neither with many thoughts to speak.

The next morning was Sunday, and Daniel was filling the pulpit. It was an interesting experience—sitting between his mother and her own sister, watching him preach. She saw her friend in a whole new light—this was his professional side, this was his life’s work. She heard a redemptive story strong enough to come from a Keller sermon, he talked about Martin and Katie Luther, and the message about choosing the better portion (the story of Mary and Martha) convicted her. She liked it, to say the least.

For lunch Daniel’s parents treated them all, and they were joined by one of Daniel’s mentors, his wife and two children. Joshua, their 10 year old son was quite smitten with both Angela and Ashlee, and after stealing Ashlee’s undivided attention for a whole ten minutes, she heard his father whisper to Daniel, “Better watch out, or my son’s gonna get your girl.” She made her best attempts to hide that she had heard the remark, but knew she was blushing, and couldn’t help but wonder what kind of reputation preceded her.

Then goodbye came. With classes Monday morning, Daniel needed to drive back home to Charlotte before the two sisters flew out Tuesday morning for Birmingham to visit a good friend. He hugged them all goodbye, and looked rather pathetic as he got into his car, so she ran forward impulsively and hugged him again.

He thought about that second hug nearly the whole way home. And then that night on the phone his mom questioned him about it too, “I dunno Dan. I think she likes you. What else was that second hug for?”

                                                                   ... to be continued...

Our Story - Part VI

Saturday morning the two girls woke to Florida sunshine gleaming through the bedroom windows. In the kitchen the men were busy with attempts to woo their women. Scrambled eggs, homemade waffles and fresh orange juice awaited.

They enjoyed a lazy Saturday morning, and then a church picnic at noon. Then, the long-awaited evening out. Curled hair, black dress, suit and tie, a white roses, seventy-five dollar dinner, spectacular Wizard of Oz musical, and a quiet stroll along the Bay.

When the two sisters were dropped off at the Wells’ home to prepare for their evening out, the guys went to Peter’s place do the same. They returned two hours later, handsomely attired, and stood at the front door with their hands behind their backs. It was all incredibly romantic, and this time it was the younger sister who was nervous, rather than the older. She stood hiding, while Ashlee joyfully peeked around the corner. She whispered to her sister to come see—they looked so handsome, it was like a real date, & etc. 

 

 

Finally they walked demurely forward. Peter was quite debonair, and his lady was sweetly impressed. Ashlee was struck by Daniel’s height—he seemed to loom over her—not in a condescending or frightening way—be he certainly was looming. But she was charmed; honored, even, yet fully confident she had no affection for this man outside of a strong friendship.

 

 

Before Wizard of Oz

In fact, she felt that this visit was clarifying the contradictions she had wrestled with over the last 3 months. Finally it seemed she knew he was to be only a friend, and that they could be happy simply that.

This same content happiness—both with her life, and with their relationship as it then was-- stood firmly before her as the charming redhead handed her a single white rose. He had only known they were her favorite because of their meaning of purity, and innocence, and so had bought it in an attempt to please. How much it pleased her, he did not know.

Ashlee had once read in a book of a beautiful, godly woman, who on her wedding day appeared the epitome of a bride. Her love story had been heart-breaking, but finally she was to be wed to a man totally worthy of her hand and heart. As she walked along side her father, who was escorting her to her groom, she carried a simple bouquet of white roses. The roses, the author explained, symbolized purity of heart and soul. It seemed only appropriate that this bride should carry white roses as she went to unite with her husband—for her heart, though ill-used by others, had been saved for just one man, and its entirety belonged only to him.

That story stuck with Ashlee through her high school years, and naturally, with a love for depth and beauty, she grew to appreciate white roses for their natural beauty, as well as what they represented. They reminded her always that someday she would be a bride, someday she would carry white roses down an aisle to meet her groom, and someday her whole heart would belong completely to one man.

Daniel had no idea that one single flower spoke so much. He even gave the gift somewhat hesitantly. He was desperate not to come off too strong—too interested. The last thing he wanted was to push her away. Peter had encouraged the rose, and in the end it certainly did not harm the situation, despite Daniel’s anxiety. But he had been nervous to give it. Her smile eased his anxiety, however.

O, he was charming. He was dashing. He was darling. She loved every minute of being by his side that evening—she loved it almost as much as he did. At dinner he kindly reminded her that this was his treat, that she was to enjoy herself and get whatever she wanted. The conversation mostly got split between the two couples, or between Ashlee and Peter. Though she did enjoy his company, something about the atmosphere made her pull away from being too intent upon only him. Peter and Angela joked they should have gotten a separate table. Once, while she was listening to Peter she could feel Daniel’s gaze on her face. Finally, she turned, caught his eye and smiled. Absent mindedly he took a sip of his drink, and said not a word. The image of his face at that moment stuck with her for months, even giving her butterflies because of the obvious admiration.

 On the way to the Performing Arts center the foursome enjoyed an interesting means of transportation: An electric-powered car that made the noise of a scooter, was the length of a station wagon, the shape of a small European car, with four or five rows to seat four people inside. There were no permanent windows, only a soft top, and plastic to zip in case of rain. So, the fresh evening air came all the way through the interesting electric-powered vehicle and though in Tampa, it still was mid October, and the sun had long since dipped beneath the waves of the Bay. The air was chilly, and the evening air nipped at her shoulders and neck. Daniel, even, commented on the coldness, and huddled against himself humorously. They looked back at Peter and Angela, hugging each other sweetly—body warmth! So, she platonically put her arms around him, as he chattered uncontrollably (he really was—she has since learned he has cold spells every once and awhile). As soon as she did she regretted it, though her arms lingered a minute so as not to appear unkind. Then she released the hug, moved completely to her seat in the car, and laughed, “No Ecclesiastes 4:11ing here.” (Go look it up reader, we promise you’ll laugh.) He laughed good-naturedly—that was just exactly the humor he liked!

As they entered the Performing Arts Center, he offered her his arm. And with a keen realization that there would now be nothing separating them in the eyes of all watching from every other real couple in the building, she accepted. If he was going to be chivalrous, she would certainly not discourage him.

He felt like a million bucks, walking to the building with the girl of his dreams gracefully walking at his side, her arm through his, sweetly following wherever he led, and eagerly listening to—hanging on, even?—his every word, laughing at his jokes, and smiling constantly. Things were going well… so well.

...to be continued...

Our Story - Part V

In October the two sisters planned a trip down to Tampa to visit Angela’s boyfriend. Daniel “happened” to be on fall break that week, and their second encounter face-to-face was much anticipated. Daniel, especially, was looking forward to this meeting. If the chemistry between them went well, if she seemed comfortable and happy around him, he planned on approaching her father about beginning a courtship.

October 17th, Daniel stood in the Tampa airport with excitement rising. Their plane had already landed—where in the world were they? (freshening make-up, fixing hair, reapplying lip gloss, of course—2 hours is a long time on a plane!) He waited as each group of people exited the tram, each time his hopes of seeing her growing greater.  Time stood still for a moment as his eyes fell on her; it was completely surreal The smile that spread across his face made evident his emotions to all rational onlookers.

“Where is he?” one sister asked the other, unaware they were already being watched. Ashlee saw him waiting there first. A sweet, friendly hug followed, and Angela, watching from behind smiled at the adoring face Daniel made when he hugged her older sister. To her it was more than obvious that he was keenly interested.

The morning in Tampa was enjoyable. They had lunch at Macaroni Grill where the white paper table cloth turned into a game of messages. Trying to gain more hand, no doubt, Daniel wrote, “I missed you.”
Ashlee grinned, and wrote, “I miss your beard.” (They had had a discussion about facial hair, during which, Ashlee had made it very obvious she preferred facial hair. Despite such obvious prompting he shaved two days before her arrival.)

Friday afternoon they coupled up again, but Ashlee was comfortable enough around him now not to feel the anxiety their “non-date” had produced. They visited the aquarium in Tampa, and laughed and took pictures, then went to a coffee shop, where Angela and Peter enjoyed torturing Daniel with jokes about how much he liked Ashlee—jokes which went right over her head.

At the aquarium, Friday, October 17th - blissful oblivion on the right, anxious anticipation on the left.

The beach was the one place she wanted to go during that trip, so he perfectly planned it that they would arrive just before sunset…

Unfortunately, his plans were foiled by the happy couple, who was more interested in eating, than watching a romantic sunset. They missed the sunset, but made it to the beach shortly after. As Ashlee and Peter raced to the on coming waves, Daniel walked slowly forward, filled with mild anticipation and excitement. He was too nervous to let it all be expressed, but everything seemed to be proceeding well.

The “couples” eventually split up, and Angela and Peter found a dry spot in the sand to lay and watch the stars—or what little of them could be seen through the haze of the city lights. Ashlee and Daniel waded back and forth in ankle-deep water, Ashlee nearly perfectly happy—jeans rolled up, fresh ocean air to breath in deeply, wind through her hair and on her shoulders, a dark sky of stars above her, with waves lapping at her toes—it was close to bliss. Her contentment was interrupted with his voice, and words about how glad he was that she had come to visit, and how glad he was to have her as a friend, and all she could think was, “Please don’t hug me. Please don’t hug me.” And ways to politely avoid what she now knew was inevitable. Then he hugged her, and she liked him too much as a friend to reject it. 

Their first moment of awkwardness followed, before she shuffled her feet in the water, and asked if they could lay down in the sand.

Laugh hard, Reader, it was as ridiculous as it sounded.

She was sure to leave enough space between them to keep things safe, but as their heads went back on the sand and they looked up at the sky, all he could think of, with something bordering childish excitement, was “We’re laying in the sand—next step—in love!” He looked over, now the one perfectly content, and couldn’t help but remark to her how beautiful she looked with the moon reflecting off her features, and the darkness giving a mysterious aura to her expression. She laughed, and tried not too think on it too much.

But, they have agreed to tell their daughters to avoid lying down in the sand with young men: They are certain to fall in love. : )

... to be continued...

Our Story - Part IV

Conversations continued after that with mutual interest, they both grew closer as friends; and his subjective interest heightened. She turned his head, and his heart. He bought three Jane Austen novels and purused her favorite, in an attempt to "enter into her world." He was the joke of the campus: M.Div students do not read Jane Austen. Period. But this one did.

Things grew complicated quickly, however, when it became evident to those around her that this man was not just interested in a friendship. She had several friends cautioning her, and even a couple encouraging her to discontinue all conversation with him. In her journal she wrote of a conflict of mind and heart. While logic and reasoning could easily persuade her that they were just friends, and that taking him at his word was what was best for the friendship, the power of her heart and the confidence of trusted friends created quite a quandary. "My heart is telling me, along with outside sources, that he’s more than just interested: he sees a potential relationship and is scoping out his prospect- me. Talk about pressuring; talk about uncomfortable.... I want to just run away from my problems and cry..." But in the end, reason always won. At least it made sense... she couldn't make sense of what she was feeling, so she just ignored it, in hopes it would soon disappear.

Down in Charlotte people thought he was just plain crazy. His pastor and pastor's wife had a good laugh over his pursuit of her, and thought that the trip to see her in September was moving just a little too fast. Some were a little concerned that she was only 18, a home-schooler, so far away, & etc. There seemed to be no end to the conflict.

Yet, somehow he knew she was different. She seemed set apart from all other girls he'd ever been interested in, she seemed unique, unparalleled. And he knew that the heart break he could possibly experience through being rejected could not compare with the joy that would come if she ever was his-- even the joy that he experienced simply in knowing her.

They had a fight late September over the definition of their relationship. Unable to live without some confrontation, she brought up his obvious interest, expressed concern that "just friends" didn't seem enough for him... and nearly crushed his hopes of winning her heart.

She thought she had done right, she had been honest. Everyone told her she needed to be more honest. Why then was there a hole in the pit of her stomach? 

Besides one email they didn’t talk at all for 3 days (O, wow!) but it felt like a month. She prayed he would call on Wednesday, as he normally did, but when 9 o’clock passed without a phone call, she did her best to hold her emotions in check.

However, after thoughtful consideration, and some prayer her honesty (she had flat out told him she could not ever see a future with them as more than friends) did not discourage him at all. He and his best friend set to work on a plan to woo her back into his hands.

(O, Dear Reader, it was dreadfully awful, and he was scolded fiercely months later when he told her what went on, but it worked.)

He waited and waited and waited for the clock to roll past nine. And when finally 9:30 came he called his best friend again, "You sure I shouldn't just wait until tomorrow?"

"No, no. Dan, she'll hate you if you do that. You've gotta call late tonight. She'll be all emotional, and just be glad you even called. If you wait, you'll lose."

So he called forty minutes late and was pleased to hear she nearly burst into tears at the sound of his voice. He pretended to be a little mad (and he truthfully was a little) and after letting her express all she wanted (which was mostly just jumbled apologies for hurting him), then told her rather firmly that if they were going to be just friends he needed her to trust him.

She realized that night that her life would be very different without that man in her life. Somewhere in her heart she was beginning to understand what it felt like to be completed by someone.

                                                                                 ...to be continued...

Our Story - Part III

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

He could not fall asleep. He was far to anxious for their meeting the following day. He tried to occupy his mind with reading, or t.v. but nothing could calm his nerves. Finally, at 3 AM he left Charlotte, North Carolina, where he had now been for 6 weeks to complete his Masters of Divinity. The 8 hours that lay between him and this new interest quickly passed (though he did stop halfway through the trip to sleep for a couple of hours)

Friday, September 5th, 2008

The Willeke house, in the meantime, was a hub of excitement. The 5 boys had already dubbed this new friend, “Just Friends Dan,” following a conversation Ashlee had with Nathan on the subject. It went something like this:

“So, who is this guy?” (asked rather casually, but with every intention of getting exactly the answer intended)

A casual response was given, and a general description followed.

“You like him?” (lets just cut to the chase already, huh?)

“NO.”

“O. Just friends?”

“Mhm.”

“Hmm… So, he’s like… ‘just friends Dan’?”

Ashlee did her best to keep the morning normal—though changing her clothes three times certainly wasn’t normal, and walking to the front door every half hour was not either. As afternoon came her adrenalin began to rise. He said he’d be here around 2. He’s a guy, he’ll be here around 3.

2 o’clock passed.

The clock was fast approaching 3pm… and the doorbell rang.

Angela, for reasons still unknown to all who witnessed, screamed and ran to hide in the kitchen. The boys casually walked to the front door and peered out the windows to evaluate, without any intention of inviting the visitor in. Finally, leaving the baby on the landing of the steps only half dressed, Ashlee pulled open the front door, then jumped back to get Anna before greeting Daniel for the first time.

Naturally, their eyes met. They hugged. It was over. Eventually everyone else made their introductions. He already had all their names memorized. (Impressive, huh?)

They passed the afternoon as any two friends would. They made cookies, talked, watched the kids outside. They talked past 1 am Friday night, she telling him why she was at home, and not at college. Although, months later, with a ring on her finger, she referred back to the conversation and he was completely clueless. Kind of just lost in the moment?

Saturday, September 6th, 2008

Their first Scrabble game. He insisted they play on teams—Angela and Peter, Daniel and Ashlee, and they disagreed how their names sounded best together “Ashlee and Daniel,” he said, “Daniel and Ashlee,” she insisted.

But the worst was yet to come… Angela and Peter, because of their long-distance relationship, had yet to have been out on a date. For various reasons, Mr. and Mrs. Willeke did not want them going alone, and so requested that Daniel and Ashlee to accompany them. But not sit with them, Angela insisted. So reservations were made for a classy Italian restaurant, the girls got dressed up, the guys made themselves handsome, and 5 o’clock rolled around.

Ashlee agreed to the arrangement mostly for her sister’s sake, knowing how important the night out would be for her. In her thinking she reasoned, if she had no feelings for this guy, going out, sitting at a table alone, should be no big deal…. Riiight?

So why was her stomach in knots before she had even freshened her make-up?

Proceeding dinner Ashlee was adamant: THIS IS NOT A DATE. Daniel only laughed, “So it’s a non-date?”  She said that was fine enough, so long as it wasn’t a date. So, it was dubbed their “non-date,” though they both privately acknowledged the outing had all the elements of a real date.
As they sat down at a small table for two, she told him she’d never been to dinner with a guy before this. He was the first. Though he had resolved before leaving Charlotte that he would not let his emotions or subjective feelings out during the course of the weekend, the atmosphere and her obvious anxiety made him slip. With a charming sort of smile he said, “Well, I’d much rather be on a non-date with you than on a real date with any other girl.”

Ooops. :-P

He got the speech about how she wasn’t ready for a relationship, and was happy just to be friends, and hoped she wasn’t leading him to believe she wanted or hoped for more than that…Who cared what she thought? He wanted and hoped for more.
 

During dinner Daniel presented her with a 5 disc collection of hymns and praise songs, complied to follow the order of worship—beginning with praise to the Lord, then lamentation for sin, songs of the cross and resurrection, then of the Christian life and walk, and then of the Church and her glorification. It was accompanied by a sweet little note about how much he had grown to appreciate her as a sister in Christ.

She loved all of them, and spent the next week listening to and memorizing each song on all 5 discs.

Her take home box that night was more than half full, and when he suggested ice cream (at Coldstone!) she nearly gagged, and politely declined.

Sunday they turned heads, naturally. He was full of talk of how they appeared to be a couple-- walking in together, sitting together during service, and then sitting together (without her family, even) through Sunday school. She justified it easily-- who else would he sit with? The baby? He couldn't have gone to the high school class with Nick, and etc.

He was just plain excited.

That afternoon saying goodbye was actually more emotional than either of them had anticipated. He had to fight tears as he drove down the interstate (though he didn't actually admit to it until months later), and when they met again because he had forgotten his glasses, contact solution and a few other necessities (which made her laugh good-naturedly-- he actually was a real, typical guy), she impulsively hugged him goodbye again, without intending to.

He left that weekend determined to pursue a friendship, in the hopes of something more, very soon. Her expectation for the weekend was left still grey. She had hoped the encounter would have been a deciding factor, but despite all the wonderful things about the weekend she felt no more inclined or disinclined to attach herself to him. He was still just friends Dan.

                    ...to be continued...

Our Story - Part II

Sunday, July 20th, 2008

The usual evening activities in the Willeke household completed, and the quietness setting in, a cell phone was handed to Ashlee, who blushed, made a curious face, and then ran downstairs to privacy.

1000 miles away in Tampa, Florida the charming redhead introduced himself. It was finally good to hear her voice, he said. The conversation lasted well over two hours. There was never a moment of silence, never an awkward pause, never a hesitant answer; it could be safe to say that they felt they had known each other forever by the end of the conversation. She told him about her family, what she loved about and learned by being raised in a large family, and how she hoped to have one of her own. He told her about his missions trip to Wales and the passion he had for an area and culture that had no understanding of biblical principles, and where a covenant family was virtually unheard of. He said, with emotion in his voice, of how he hoped to live and pastor a church in an area such as that, so that the Lord could use his hopes for a large, Biblical family, and Reformed theology to witness to the people there.

Then he told her how he hoped to someday adopt perhaps half a dozen children from countries around the world: A little girl from India, one from China, an African baby boy. She fell in love with the idea, and put it on her mental notepad.

Had she been any less sensible her heart would have been won before the night was over, but as it was, any emotion that he arose in her she quickly pushed aside, and when her sister asked her what she thought, her reply was that he was still much too intelligent for her, but that he was amazing, and funny and a great man. His thoughts were reserved as well, and he told Peter only, that he'd like to talk to her again.

However, the following day he requested permission to continue to call her periodically, as a friend, and she agreed—as a friend. After two weeks of such conversations (they did not shorten in length) and many late nights chatting, she decided she had better okay everything with her dad. He agreed without hesitation, but with some perplexity; and when Daniel called not too long after that to ask for permission to make a visit up to Ohio, it became evident to Mr. and Mrs. Willeke this young man was not interested in simply being just friends. (Though they remained silent on the subject!)
The visit was planned for Labor Day weekend, September 5th would be the first day they met face-to-face.

Our Story - Part I

A quiet day in September of 2007 a young man sat by the beside of his dying Grandmother and promised that he would do his best to make her proud, and would, as much as it depended upon him, find a godly wife who exemplified the characteristics he loved and cherished in his grandma. She died not long after, and since that day, the young man’s quest for a woman of God has been in earnest.

While he pursued his college education, and endeavored to realize the call God had placed on his heart to be a minister of the Gospel, a young (very young) woman was waiting, O, so anxiously and patiently for the man God was preparing for her. She was told to wait and hope and pray, and he would come along eventually. In the meantime, there was a lot to DO!

He was extroverted, good-humored, passionate and either loved or hated by those who knew him. She was quiet, sweet and loved by everyone. He grew up with two working parents, one older sister; went to the public schools in Tampa, FL. She relished the vivacity of a home school family of 10, with hard-working father, and a stay at home Mom in a rural suburb in Ohio—not quite out with the cornfields, and yet not close enough to the city to see the smog.

She wanted 13 children, he wanted 18.

They were perfectly matched.

Actually… that’s not quite how it went. The first time the name Daniel Wells was ever heard in the Willeke household it was between two sisters, one smitten in love, and the other calmly resolved that, “only the deepest love will induce me to matrimony. So I shall end up an old maid and teach [my sister’s] 10 children to play their instruments very ill!” (Pride and Prejudice). He was acclaimed as “hilarious… and a very godly, and intelligent man,” and then sadly, very soon forgotten. However, when the name Ashlee Willeke rang in his ears, “beautiful” was all he was told, and he was determined to be at least introduced to the girl.

Many thanks go to modern day conveniences such as cell phones, the Internet (and therefore chatting, facebook and blogging) which were all important factors in teaching this couple about each other.

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

Ashlee, fresh out of high school, not even a month over 18, and totally oblivious to the change that would happen in her life in the next four months, sat contentedly on her bed. Angela, bubbly and exuberant as she is, soon was nearly on top of her sister with her camera phone on, “I MUST take a picture of you!”

A playful fight then took place where older sister attempted to divert the phone from the younger, whose persistence and animation eventually won. “It’s for that Daniel Wells! He’s out with Peter tonight, and he wants to know what you look like!” (Reader, please note: Daniel Wells had never said such a thing.)

Snap. Click. Sent. (or so we thought… upon investigation months later we realized the picture was actually never received.)

The conversation between Angela and Peter immediately preceding this event had been a simple dialogue between a curious girlfriend who was an adoring sister, and a loving boyfriend, with a biological make-up inducing him to match-making. He told her his plans for the evening, that he was going to a movie with Daniel Wells, had to remind her who he was, and then quickly said goodbye.

The conversation was not ended 10 seconds before both Angela and Peter dialed back out. “Were you calling me?” Peter asked. “Yeah! Were you calling me? Babe! What about Ashlee and Daniel!?!” “I was just thinking THE SAME THING!” Thus the tackling of the older sister in an attempt to match-make.