I left one journey of life for the next, and the change was stark-- what was bright, colorful, loud and vibrant, was now quiet, serene and ordinary. Many of my favorite things are still present, like laughter, and whispers, and loving words, but they are all so different now. So different they cannot be compared.
My world had been as vibrant as the colors of the changing trees of autumn. No two days looked the same, and yet the currant of life was predictable: first green, to yellow, to orange, to red, to brown. And over again. Life was active, buoyant and cheerful.
Aliza (5) and Nolan (8)
Aliza, Nolan and Nevin (9)
Anna Sophia (3) and Nevin
And then, in a day, a short, blissful day, all the leaves fell and the trees were bare. But I was so, so happy I didn't care.
(That lasted about three weeks)
Then the snow started to fall, and at first it was cold, and bleak and dull. I was aching for the colorful life that had been.
I was not lonely, because I had my best friend nearly always by me; and yet I was lonely, because I was used to "constant chatter," and bubbles of excitement. I was not bored, because there is always plenty to do; but I was bored, because what I was used to doing I could not. I was not unhappy, yet the slightest fond memory would make me burst into tears.
The change from what was normal to what now is normal is a process. Just as the trees adapt to the different seasons, and the design of their life cycles from spring to summer to fall, and then into hibernation for winter, I have had to adapt to a new environment, a new role, and new responsibilities. Normal is evolving into something completely different, and yet... just as lovely.
And though I still daily think of the beautiful, colorful life I left behind; I am also daily overwhelmed by this wonderful, blessed life that is now mine. There is a glistening shimmer of perfect, spotless snow covering heavy-laden trees. Icicles form from branches and roof tops, and shine little rainbows unto the ground below. It's glorious.
Life now is fresh and new, like those first weeks of winter. While it seems everything is dull compared to what it was, it is only sleeping, in preparation for spring-- for new life, for more changes, for more journeys. Life now is fresh and new, like those first weeks of winter. And it's all beautiful.